I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time