You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.