So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never