we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
I have a yeast infection.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.