screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
I have a yeast infection.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.