I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.