Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
I have a yeast infection.