I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
I have a yeast infection.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good