Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off