Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house