Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I am puke
Can you rollerblade?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name