I cannot find my penis.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.