Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed