You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl