Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Pennsylvania (610)

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  i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."

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  (610): i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there." http://tfl.nu/12yv
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  craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.

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  (610): craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus. http://tfl.nu/0q2j
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  He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1

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  (610): He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1 http://tfl.nu/y50i
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  I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes

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  (610): I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes http://tfl.nu/4awr
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  I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.

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  Samesies

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  (610): I can only be a whore so many days outta the week. (631): Samesies http://tfl.nu/jurs
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  You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck

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  (610): You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck http://tfl.nu/4xap
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  connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear

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  (610): connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear http://tfl.nu/s27e
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  doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.

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  (610): doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better. http://tfl.nu/6sgi
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  The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.

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  (610): The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed. http://tfl.nu/1baq
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  I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes

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  (610): I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes http://tfl.nu/8prz
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  I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.

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  (610): I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain. http://tfl.nu/693g
  Replies (16) Good night (838) Bad night (4220) Order T-Shirt
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  my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.

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  (610): my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while. http://tfl.nu/6x6m
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  Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me

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  (610): Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me http://tfl.nu/1f94
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  Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!

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  (610): Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me! http://tfl.nu/2u3z
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  I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.

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  (610): I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date. http://tfl.nu/jj8c
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