hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.