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if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
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