I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms