Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.