I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.