So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world