I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
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no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
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I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family