I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is