My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
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He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
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Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.