my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
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all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
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He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.