all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.