Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
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Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
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say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip