Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New York (914)

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized

  (914): View more from New York

  No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."

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  (508): Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized (914): No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes." http://tfl.nu/s64m
  Replies (23) Good night (3112) Bad night (682)
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  (914): View more from New York

  apparently the secret to your success is patron

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  (914): apparently the secret to your success is patron http://tfl.nu/m5sk
  Replies (7) Good night (2329) Bad night (387) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts

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  (914): Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts http://tfl.nu/cnqz
  Replies (12) Good night (3101) Bad night (729) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!

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  (914): Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?! http://tfl.nu/ay46
  Replies (20) Good night (2216) Bad night (780) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"

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  (914): when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing" http://tfl.nu/damz
  Replies (27) Good night (630) Bad night (3775) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.

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  (914): i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to. http://tfl.nu/n2ms
  Replies (12) Good night (579) Bad night (3593)
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  (914): View more from New York

  he puts the penis in happiness.

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  (914): he puts the penis in happiness. http://tfl.nu/m0tk
  Replies (29) Good night (4649) Bad night (518) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!

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  (914): After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT! http://tfl.nu/umoe
  Replies (129) Good night (6195) Bad night (593) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.

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  (914): she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob. http://tfl.nu/q7jj
  Replies (25) Good night (536) Bad night (4222) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.

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  (914): he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped. http://tfl.nu/0vpq
  Replies (5) Good night (3425) Bad night (409) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.

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  (914): Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride. http://tfl.nu/fcgf
  Replies (22) Good night (2643) Bad night (417) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.

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  (914): she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice. http://tfl.nu/tgnz
  Replies (12) Good night (447) Bad night (3755) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.

  (1-914): View more from New York

  maybe it's her son

  (914): View more from New York

  thats not any better.

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  (914): This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out. (1-914): maybe it's her son (914): thats not any better. http://tfl.nu/9ktq
  Replies (23) Good night (491) Bad night (3018)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Eric got herpes from Jo-ann

  (914): View more from New York

  That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian

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  (917): Eric got herpes from Jo-ann (914): That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian http://tfl.nu/xico
  Replies (48) Good night (644) Bad night (2681)
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  (716): View more from New York

  so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome

  (914): View more from New York

  i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"

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  (716): so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome (914): i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends" http://tfl.nu/p6rp
  Replies (26) Good night (2180) Bad night (526)