Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine