it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."