I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
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In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
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All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.