i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
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This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?