I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.