All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.