I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.