When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Blood and glitter go together right?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.