Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She even gives head with a lisp.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
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Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
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i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.