I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.