I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?