pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now