shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
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I drank myself into bisexuality again.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
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For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.