she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.