He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.