At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.