repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.