she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
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Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
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He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him