His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.