Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?