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so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
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