Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i drank out of a bidet.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen