does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them