theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
where are you?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.