I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
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Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
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I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.