Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Maryland (410)

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.

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  (410): I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night. http://tfl.nu/l8h9
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.

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  (410): apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual. http://tfl.nu/y4h7
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.

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  (410): I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral. http://tfl.nu/e026
  Replies (8) Good night (1516) Bad night (244) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.

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  (410): he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE. http://tfl.nu/pbaf
  Replies (68) Good night (2726) Bad night (262) Order T-Shirt
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  You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.

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  (410): You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone. http://tfl.nu/z0lf
  Replies (25) Good night (360) Bad night (1274) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm not a mortal combat character

  (410): View more from Maryland

  but my vagina is

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  (860): I'm not a mortal combat character (410): but my vagina is http://tfl.nu/01am
  Replies (16) Good night (1061) Bad night (272)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?

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  (410): Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work? http://tfl.nu/5kkn
  Replies (12) Good night (340) Bad night (1038) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club

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  Dude it was a lap dance

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  (410): That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club (301): Dude it was a lap dance http://tfl.nu/d6y0
  Replies (15) Good night (1219) Bad night (239)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was

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  (410): Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was http://tfl.nu/b47l
  Replies (14) Good night (353) Bad night (1117) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita

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  (410): You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita http://tfl.nu/ih02
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I just found a frying pan...in my bed.

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  (410): I just found a frying pan...in my bed. http://tfl.nu/4wiq
  Replies (7) Good night (1020) Bad night (269) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...

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  (410): To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor... http://tfl.nu/oppe
  Replies (3) Good night (662) Bad night (248) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  youre so sexy i want your bod

  (410): View more from Maryland

  dude, did you turn gay?

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  heather?

  (410): View more from Maryland

  this is jacob

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  (949): youre so sexy i want your bod (410): dude, did you turn gay? (949): heather? (410): this is jacob http://tfl.nu/gn2b
  Replies (14) Good night (672) Bad night (1755)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success

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  (410): He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success http://tfl.nu/9mnw
  Replies (2) Good night (333) Bad night (812) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha

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  (410): Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha http://tfl.nu/68fw
  Replies (1) Good night (773) Bad night (340) Order T-Shirt