I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong