Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Maryland (410)

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  it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.

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  (410): it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job. http://tfl.nu/iasx
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  Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?

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  The recession has changed everything man.

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  (412): Why are there hot girls at the dollar store? (410): The recession has changed everything man. http://tfl.nu/jvje
  Replies (9) Good night (3050) Bad night (431)
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  Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'

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  Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..

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  (410): Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles' (301): Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar.. http://tfl.nu/a4j3
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  This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca

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  (410): This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca http://tfl.nu/b19s
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  She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.

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  (410): She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard. http://tfl.nu/ezls
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  You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.

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  (410): You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out. http://tfl.nu/phll
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  it was a mass text i'm sorry

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  do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?

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  (410): it was a mass text i'm sorry (603): do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text? http://tfl.nu/ja5x
  Replies (18) Good night (3784) Bad night (1026)
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  can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd

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  wasted?

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  im pocohantasssss

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  (410): can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd (443): wasted? (410): im pocohantasssss http://tfl.nu/gql6
  Replies (109) Good night (43928) Bad night (1992)
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  so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero

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  (410): so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero http://tfl.nu/4z5t
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  So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.

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  (410): So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it. http://tfl.nu/iplm
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  i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.

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  (410): i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations. http://tfl.nu/0kby
  Replies (10) Good night (3068) Bad night (489)
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  Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.

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  (410): Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight. http://tfl.nu/1lc5
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  This is evicking siegelnvs

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  Im sorry?

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  This is fucking ridiculous*

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  (410): This is evicking siegelnvs (443): Im sorry? (410): This is fucking ridiculous* http://tfl.nu/9l7k
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  Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(

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  (410): Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :( http://tfl.nu/bf6a
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  it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.

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  (410): it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed. http://tfl.nu/fe66
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