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it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
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