Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (904)

Last Night in Florida (904)

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(904): View more from Florida

he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?

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(904): he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french? http://tfl.nu/ofgx

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(904): View more from Florida

Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada

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(904): Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada http://tfl.nu/l5wm

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taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport

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(904): taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport http://tfl.nu/zg9o

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(904): View more from Florida

Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?

(1-904): View more from Florida

six.

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Oh, I thought it was higher.

(1-904): View more from Florida

No, that would be the Matt's

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(904): Another one? Damn, how many David's is that? (1-904): six. (904): Oh, I thought it was higher. (1-904): No, that would be the Matt's http://tfl.nu/8llg

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i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.

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(904): i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night. http://tfl.nu/xd4f

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The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.

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(904): The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him. http://tfl.nu/fka6

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i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps

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(904): i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps http://tfl.nu/x84f

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Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.

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(904): Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it. http://tfl.nu/tda5

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(954): View more from Florida

What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?

(904): View more from Florida

Both

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(954): What are you talking about? And how drunk are you? (904): Both http://tfl.nu/7q6w

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i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.

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(904): i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina. http://tfl.nu/j0mi

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K. On the way. I need a drink.

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Like a drink drink or like water?

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Have we met?

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(601): K. On the way. I need a drink. (904): Like a drink drink or like water? (601): Have we met? http://tfl.nu/ckaw

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Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.

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(904): Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do. http://tfl.nu/0tan

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the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants

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(904): the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants http://tfl.nu/u4r0

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Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea

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(904): Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea http://tfl.nu/h1b1

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sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!

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(904): sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut! http://tfl.nu/fz7u

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Last Night in Florida (904)

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