And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...