My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
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sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Do vagina's smell?
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why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Farmville is her only friend.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.