Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (763)

Last Night in Minnesota (763)

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I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me

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(763): I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me http://tfl.nu/kago

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Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex

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(763): Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex http://tfl.nu/0lo0

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After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended

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(763): After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended http://tfl.nu/x97c

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I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.

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(763): I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like. http://tfl.nu/kktd

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I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.

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(763): I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year. http://tfl.nu/q074

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there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it

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(763): there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it http://tfl.nu/ck34

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ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.

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haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.

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(612): ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good. (763): haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions. http://tfl.nu/7v2j

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So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time

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Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.

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(763): So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time (1-763): Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother. http://tfl.nu/6l4l

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lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...

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(763): lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab... http://tfl.nu/1m3b

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I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.

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(763): I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts. http://tfl.nu/j2dd

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Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.

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(763): Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits. http://tfl.nu/o3v5

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I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby

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(763): I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby http://tfl.nu/ll5m

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Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet

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(763): Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet http://tfl.nu/ppas

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Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls

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is that a poem?!

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(612): Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls (763): is that a poem?! http://tfl.nu/h29o

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Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.

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(763): Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage. http://tfl.nu/62w3

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Last Night in Minnesota (763)

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