Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (763)

Last Night in Minnesota (763)

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(970): View more from Colorado

I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"

(763): View more from Minnesota

Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.

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(970): I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?" (763): Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka. http://tfl.nu/xe07

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(763): View more from Minnesota

I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...

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I want my thong back.

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I hate you tequila.

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(763): I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong... (612): I want my thong back. (763): I hate you tequila. http://tfl.nu/u481

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(763): View more from Minnesota

she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."

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(763): she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant." http://tfl.nu/1vw9

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(763): View more from Minnesota

she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle

(612): View more from Minnesota

safety first

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(763): she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle (612): safety first http://tfl.nu/lbuo

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.

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(763): Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault. http://tfl.nu/lznh

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(612): View more from Minnesota

You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!

(763): View more from Minnesota

Yes.

(612): View more from Minnesota

fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria

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(612): You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!! (763): Yes. (612): fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria http://tfl.nu/wx8p

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(763): View more from Minnesota

The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.

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(763): The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins. http://tfl.nu/k74l

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Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave

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(763): Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave http://tfl.nu/o1tg

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.

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(763): Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant. http://tfl.nu/4ttc

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(651): View more from Minnesota

2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people

(763): View more from Minnesota

and u failed math?

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(651): 2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people (763): and u failed math? http://tfl.nu/331s

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(763): View more from Minnesota

FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.

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(763): FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth. http://tfl.nu/ynrg

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I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.

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(763): I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously. http://tfl.nu/s4km

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Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot

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(763): Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot http://tfl.nu/9zep

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(763): View more from Minnesota

My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.

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(763): My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats. http://tfl.nu/m7i1

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.

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I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.

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(763): Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up. (763): I just baked them cookies. We're friends now. http://tfl.nu/27t6

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Last Night in Minnesota (763)

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