You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
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Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
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He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.