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just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
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