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Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
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