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My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
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