I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away