I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.