do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.