do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
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And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
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you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.