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Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
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