we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.