Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.