I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome