We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.